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Family at kitchen table.

As young families, one of the most significant decisions you can make is determining how to balance your career and family life. There are more dual-income households than ever before.  But in today’s fast-paced world, those demands can be hard to balance with the life you want for your family.  It seems impossible to do it all.  I find a lot of families asking the question: “Can we afford for one of us to stay home with the kids?”

If you take nothing else away from this article, know that there is no right or wrong answer to the question of whether or not one spouse should stay home.  It is all about knowing yourselves, knowing your family’s values, and knowing that there are always going to be trade-offs.

I’m writing this post having asked this very question a few times for my family.  I have actually spent multiple stents as a “stay-at-home” parent so to speak. I’ll be the first to admit that the transition isn’t necessarily easy.  But, it can certainly be worth it!  

I’ve helped other families navigate this journey as well.  Combined with my own experience, here are some key considerations and practical steps you can take in making this decision. 

 

Key Considerations for Transitioning to One Income

 
1. Align Your Values and Priorities
 

This decision is more than just a financial one; it’s deeply personal and based on your values. For many families, the desire to have one parent stay home is rooted in wanting to be there while your kids are young.  Rather than work all through their childhood and retire once they’re adults out on their own, more families are moving back to the idea of having a parent at home while they are young.  The moments you have with your children will fly by, and you don’t want to miss them.  You don’t want them getting your leftovers at the end of each day.

  • Prayerfully Consider Your Calling: God has a unique plan for each family. Prayerfully seek His direction for your family’s future. Ask God to give both spouses clarity and peace about the decision.
  • Write out your family values and Purpose.  I do this exercise with every new client.  There is something about articulating the values you hold dear.  Saying them out loud.  Agreeing on them as a couple.  Writing them down.  Solidifying your core values provides you a framework in which you can make this and any other financial (or life) decision.
  • Discuss Family Roles & Expectations: It’s important to have open and honest discussions with your spouse about the expectations and realities of this shift. Both spouses should have a clear understanding of their roles, responsibilities, and how they will share in the duties of maintaining a home and raising children.  Aside from prayer, this (IMO) is the most important step.  While there may be one “breadwinner,” both spouses are absolutely working.  You don’t want to leave your job to stay at home, and end up arguing all the time about what is or isn’t getting done at home, or how much money one is making… or spending.  Talk this out BEFORE the change.  What household tasks will be taken on?  What will still be hired out?  What will be shared between spouses? I talk about this later along with other actionable steps.
 
2. Consider Other Lifestyle Changes First
 

Don’t take this article as me trying to convince you that you should stay home.  You can absolutely be intentional and present with your family while both parents work.  In fact, this has been our reality for most of our time as parents.  Perhaps there are other changes you can make to bring more focus on home and family outside of just staying home full time.

  • Adjust your hours at work.  Not every job will allow this, but some might.  Is there a way you can scale back your hours at work to be home more?  Or can some things be done during non-business hours so that you can use the afternoon to pick up the kids, do homework, sports, dinner, et.c  Then just finish work in the evenings?  It can look different for everyone, but it might be a good first step if not sold on the idea of stopping work altogether (or can’t afford to right now).
  • Change jobs or start a business.  This might be an opportunity to find a job that gives you the flexibility you want for your family.  Maybe it’s working a part-time job, or a side hustle. Do some soul searching and pray to see where God may be leading you.  
  • Hire more help.  If you’re blessed enough to make a good income, there are certainly a number of ways you can buy back more time.  Can you hire a house cleaner or landscaper to free up your weekends to spend together instead of doing housework?  Can a nanny help get the kids and start dinner so that you can come home and just be with them?  Remember what I said about trade offs?  This may be a way to trade your hard-earned income for something more valuable – time.
  • Re-establish boundaries to protect family time.  This may be for you – maybe you need to stop answering emails or working during the evenings. Maybe it’s for your kids – limit the extracurricular activities they are in so that their schedule isn’t taking every minute of family time.  Whatever it is, there might be places you can take back some of that precious family time by simply setting boundaries.
 
3. Assess Your Current Financial Situation
 

Okay, we’re finally getting to the number side of things.  Before making any drastic changes, it’s critical to know exactly where you stand financially.

  • Income & Expenses: Start by reviewing your monthly income, expenses, debts, and savings. A solid understanding of your financial picture will help you determine whether you’re able to support your lifestyle with a single income.
  • Emergency Fund: Ideally, you should have an emergency fund of 3 to 6 months’ worth of living expenses saved up. This cushion provides a safety net should unexpected costs arise – especially during the transition – or if your budget doesn’t quite work out as planned.
  • Debt Management: High-interest debts (like credit cards) should be paid down as much as possible before making the leap. Carrying significant debt can be a burden, especially when relying on a single income.  Moving to a single income can already be stressful from a financial standpoint, but there are things you can do to mitigate most risks.
  • Long-Term Goals: Consider your longer-term financial goals, such as retirement savings and college funds. A family on one income will require diligent planning to stay on track with these important milestones.  Long-term goals may need adjusting, or simply may need to be prioritized over other short-term goals to stay on track.
 
4. Impact on Your Lifestyle
 

Transitioning to one income will inevitably change the way you live. Consider how the following aspects of your life will be impacted:

  • Standard of Living: Will you need to make lifestyle adjustments? This might include cutting back on discretionary spending like dining out, vacations, or luxury items. Be honest with yourselves about what you’re willing to sacrifice for the sake of the family.
  • Social Life: First, consider the social aspect of your work.  Leaving your job will most certainly impact your daily social life.  You won’t be surrounded by your coworkers.  Is this something that is going to be hard to adjust to?  In what alternate areas can you find that social connection?  Community and relationships are absolutely an important part of our mental well-being.  I think COVID reminded us all about that truth.
  • Mindset Shift: There’s often a psychological shift when you go from two incomes to one.  It can create stress around finances.  It can also create a mental shift in our identity and Purpose – something many of us find through our vocation.  However, our true identity and Purpose is found in Christ.  And if He is calling one of you to stay home, then consider this transition not as a limitation but as a chance to prioritize what matters most: family, faith, and living a life aligned with your values.
 

Actionable Steps to Take Before, During, and After the Transition

 

 Before the Transition: Plan & Prepare
 
  1. Create a Detailed Budget: Now is the time to map out a budget that reflects your single-income household. Track every expense and see where you can trim or eliminate non-essentials. Websites and apps like Monarch or YNAB can help with this.  Don’t just adjust the income, but look at all of the other areas that will change as well.  What expenses may go down (housecleaner, eating out, childcare, etc.) and what may go up (health insurance, groceries, activities).
  2. Increase Your Savings: If possible, build your savings cushion above the emergency fund. Consider putting extra money into long-term savings or investments, especially if you’re expecting a reduction in income.  Creating an extra cushion can provide the peace of mind needed to make the jump, especially if one spouse is hesitant about the idea from a financial standpoint.
  3. Consider the Tax Implications: Going to one income might affect your tax bracket. Consult a tax professional to discuss how this will impact your filings and whether there are ways to optimize your tax strategy.  If income will be lower next year, are there things you should do this year to take advantage of it, or push until next year to help keep taxes lower?
  4. Review Insurance and Benefits: If your family’s healthcare plan or other benefits are tied to the working spouse’s employer, explore options to maintain adequate coverage. Compare health plans, life insurance, and other benefits to make sure you’re still protected.  Be sure to budget for anything you’ll have to go out of pocket for that you weren’t before. Don’t forget possibly needing to get life insurance for the at-home spouse and more disability insurance for the working spouse.
  5. Test Drive the Budget: Before making the change permanent, try living on a single income for a few months. This “trial run” will help you assess whether your current spending habits are sustainable in a one-income household.  It’s a great opportunity to work out issues and to save the second income into increasing that emergency fund.
  6. Talk about roles, responsibilities, expectations, & fears.  Not just conceptually, but practically.  What household responsibilities are getting shifted if one parent is home?  School drop off and pick up, transporting to activities, cooking, cleaning, laundry, keeping up with the budget, etc.  It doesn’t all have to go on one spouse’s shoulder.  And honestly, it can’t.  Being home absolutely adds capacity to take on a lot more responsibilities, but you’ll be amazed at how fast those hours go between drop off and pick up.  If the kids aren’t school age yet or you plan to  homeschool, there can be even less time.  Be realistic about what you both can do.  Continue loving and serving one another and give each other a lot of grace.  Also hear each other out on fears or concerns.  Talk through solutions to help everyone feel comfortable with the change if you both agree it’s what needs to happen.
 
During & After the Transition: Adapt & Adjust
 
  1. Cut Back Gradually: Don’t try to overhaul your entire lifestyle overnight. Gradually cut back on discretionary spending and adjust to your new reality. Focus on reducing “wants” and prioritizing “needs.”  If you did a test run, this can be a quicker change to get used to.
  2. Track Your Spending: Keep a close eye on your budget during the first few months. There may be unexpected expenses as you adjust to the new lifestyle, but with careful tracking, you can make sure you don’t overspend.  
  3. Communicate Often: It’s vital to keep communication open with your spouse throughout the transition. Regular check-ins will help you both navigate any challenges and adjust your plan if necessary.  This is so important to keep everyone not just on the same page, but to give opportunity to express concerns and find ways to adjust.  You won’t get it right out of the gate – it will take a few months to get used to.  The new schedule, the new responsibilities.  All of it will take time to get on top of before you feel like you’re getting into a groove.  It’s easy to think it’ll all just happen right away, but give yourself and each other a lot of grace.
  4. Review Your Financial Situation Regularly: With one income, it’s crucial to keep a close eye on your financial situation. Update your budget and goals every few months to ensure you’re on track.  Be sure to review longer term goals as well.
  5. Reassess your family’s needs.  This change doesn’t have to be permanent, or even until the kids go to college.  It may be just until they get to school age, or out of elementary school.  It’s okay to change as seasons change.  As long as both spouses are focused on your family’s well being, their values, and living out God’s Purpose for their lives, there’s no wrong way to go about balancing work and family life.
 

Final Thoughts

While transitioning to a single-income household requires thoughtful planning and significant adjustments, many families find the rewards are well worth the effort. Others find that they can find that balance at home by making intentional efforts to prioritize family while pursuing God’s calling in their career as well.  My wife and I both work.  And we still struggle to balance it all.  It’s constantly changing as we try to find what works best for us.  There is no magic bullet. We’re all given just 24 hours each day… it’s all about how we use them.  Pray for wisdom, create & stick to a solid financial plan, and be willing to adapt.

Above all, remember that God will provide for you and your family – sometimes in ways you don’t expect. Trust Him, take practical steps, and be patient with the process. Through your faith and intentionality, you can create a home where both parents can fulfill their God-given roles, and your children can thrive.

 

2 Corinthians 9:8  “And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”